Starting conversations with anxious children requires a gentle and supportive approach. Here are a few tips to help:
- Create a safe space: It’s probably not a great idea to try to have a sensitive conversation in the middle of Target or a place that would be overstimulating for your child. Consider a calm, quiet space that your child feels comfortable in. This may mean that conversations have to wait, and that’s ok. Try to get on their eye level, relax your body posture, and ensure that your facial expressions show that you care and are concerned. If you are dysregulated, it is important to regulate yourself before trying to start a conversation with them.
- Be patient and use active listening skills. Making eye contact, asking open-ended questions, avoiding interrupting them, giving them the time they need and not rushing them, and rephrasing back to them what you heard them say will all assist your child in feeling comfortable with discussing their anxiety.
- Validate their feelings: It is important for your child to understand that what they are feeling is ok to feel. You could say something like “It must be tough to feel this anxious.” Validation does not mean that you agree with them 100% but shows them that their feeling is ok to feel.
- Offer support and reassurance but remember that you don’t have to fix the problem. You know your kiddo best. Do they need hugs and snuggles? Do they need you to practice their coping skills with them? Do they need to pet their dog? Do they just need you to hold space for their feelings? Do they need you to help them brainstorm solutions? Offering support and reassurance can be as simple as those things, but it is important to offer the kind of support that your child receives best.
- Use simple and clear language. Don’t talk too much! Children’s attention spans aren’t as long as ours and their language isn’t as complex as ours. It is important to ensure that you are speaking in short sentences and in simple vocabulary.
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